I HAD the same problem after giving birth to my first, and (after a horrifyingly embarrasing first day back to work, where the bathrooms are way on the other side of the building...) friends, and my doc suggested some exercises to firm up the whole pelvic floor. They're called Kegels, and they've completely solved the problem for me.
To get a good idea of how to do them, the next time you pee, start and stop several times. Then try these "sets" of exercises:
1. Contract the muscle and count to 10. Then relax and repeat, for about a minute.
2. Quickly contract the muscle for about one second and then relax it. Do about 20 of those.
3. Pretend there is a little elevator in your crotch. Gradually raise the elevator up to the second floor, then the third. Hold it there for a few seconds. Then gradually lower the elevator to the second floor, then the first. For good measure, go down to the "basement" to be sure that the muscles are relaxed after each "trip." Do about 10 of these.
I've looked around on the internet a bit, and studies say that about half of the women with incontinence see improvement, but they're easy to do when you're just sitting, reading, or hey! typing on a message board! If they don't work, there are physical therapists that can teach you better exercises. Most physical therapy centers have programs for incontinence. And if that still doesn't work... there's always surgery. They've got a surgical procedure, where they sew in a "tape" to firm up the area.
Give the kegels a shot, see how they work for u.
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