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Bess is correct. Thumper, here is what you need to do to acquire the necessities:
1. Mention your wife frequently. Gary has shown that a "sick" wife is an asset in forming new relationships.
2. Go to math conferences. These are great opportunities to meet new women during your runs around your hotel's city streets or in the hotel's gym. Be sure to impress these new women with your talk test: Run fast and, as you run, tell them that you are a visiting math professor.
3. Have a man's hobby. Develop an interest in the internet that will show women that you are a man's man. There are so many sites with bulletin boards that you ought to be able to find at least one in which you could become a monitor. Being a BB monitor could prove that you are a caring individual willing to share your time and expertise with a whole community.
4. Have a woman's hobby. Women love to talk about their diets. Join them. Pick some outlandish weight, like 300 pounds, and tell them that you weighed more than that amount until you began your successful diet. Then shut up and let them tell you about their diets. Be a good listener.
5. Be nonchalant to love. Give the outward appearance that your only intended conquest is a PR at your next marathon.
Good luck!
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